I'm leaving for New Orleans in a few days, tomarrow being the most likely candidate. I've lost most of the wind out of my sails over the past couple of days. I'm going alright, but the liquidy conciousness that had catalysed my initial visions has shifted to a more secondary position. I feel massively calm and sort of bored.

Time has become an even more intriguing factor in my life. An interesting scenerio manifested itself a few days ago while Norm and I were staying in a cabin during a large rainstorm. It occurred to me that words were like products, produced in a single moment yet were not connected to that moment, and were without source. I've been having a great number of dreams with vastly differing content but the same interesting feel to them.

Also, I am finally completed in my initiation, although one more circumstance is yet to be. I could write about these parts, of which there are 3: CRISIS - COMPLETION - aNGel (x). A primer for the beginning Shamanic practicioner. Maybe .in. the. future.

I am in a back room of a warehouse. An older janitor is chatting with me. I am a girl. I can tell by the situational dynamics, the words he uses, etc., that he is going to rape me. I recognize that the situation is a mere story, and I feel no aversion to being raped. The idea of preventing the rape appears to be just that, an idea, with no values attached to it. I decide to play out my part in the story and make no attempt to prevent the rape.

Something that I note about these dreams is clarity. They are not dreams, but are not awake-states. I am a being of perception, and know that dreams I percieve are other worlds, simply scenerios to which I am witness.