hypoglycemia

This blood sugar thing is getting out of hand. I can't seem to stay awake, and when I am, I'm often too out of it to do anything. I feel really muddled and drugged.

I'm practicing being assertive, and this is really new to me. I've spent so much time trying to address conflict with nuetrality or kindness and never saying what it is I want. Most of the time, I don't even know what I want. I try really hard not to offend anyone, or bother them in any way...no wonder I have low self worth sometimes.

I was checking out stuff on roller derby online. Maine has a roller derby team (Vacactionland Vixens). It looks extremely fun and reminds me of my dream last night... nevermind the fact that I can barely remain standing on my rollerskates.

"A woman came up to me and said
"I'd like to poison your mind
With wrong ideas that appeal to you
Though I am not unkind"
She looked at me, I looked at something
Written across her scalp
And these are the words that it faintly said
As I tried to call for help:

There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that's be you,
Be what you're like,
Be like yourself,
And so I'm having a wonderful time
But I'd rather be whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
There's only one thing that I like
And that is whistling in the dark

A man came up to me and said
"I'd like to change your mind
By hitting it with a rock," he said,
"Though I am not unkind."
We laughed at his little joke
And then I happily walked away
And hit my head on the wall of the jail
Where the two of us live today.

There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that's be you,
Be what you're like,
Be like yourself,
And so I'm having a wonderful time
But I'd rather be whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
Whistling in the dark
There's only one thing that I like
And that is whistling in the dark"

-They Might Be Giants